Colon Cramps

As the title says, yes, I butt cramps a lot. This a sign of colon cancer? I swear this is not a joke

Unlikely, if it is accompanied by a number of other symptoms such as bleeding, weight loss, etc. ..

More likely it is what is known as transient Fugax. This cramping occurs often in the middle of the night and can last a variable time, usually a few seconds to 30 minutes. Many victims he met less than 6 times per year.
There is no known cause for proctalgia fleeting, but it is thought to be related to a muscle spasm of the rectum. There is no known cure.
There are remedies that range from warm baths (if the pain lasts long enough to make a bathroom), relaxation techniques and gentle massage of the anus.

No, this is not a sign of colon cancer. It is a sign of nerve or muscle problems.

Perhaps many things, including poor diet.

See a doctor, who can obtain a complete history and make a correct diagnosis.